I’m Not Sure I Want Jesus to Drive

My friend recently said to me, “Georgi, just let Jesus take the wheel a little more. You’ve heard that Carrie Underwood song, right? You should listen to it again. Let Jesus take the wheel. Let it go.”

I know he’s right. I know there are things I need to let go.

I’m just not sure I want to turn the wheel over to Jesus or the Universe or anyone.

This is making me laugh as I write it, because I actually hate driving. I will let anyone take the wheel of a car because I prefer to sit and relax and chat and be driven.

In an honest to goodness physical car.

In my life? Hmmm.

I clutch my life very tightly.

You know what I mean, right? You’ve done the research. You know what you want. You have an idea of how things should go. You have dreams. You have desires. You want things to happen. 

You want what you want! You do what you want!

Turn the wheel over? I don’t think so.

What if I turn the wheel over and get driven off a cliff? What if I turn the wheel over and start going too fast? What if I turn the wheel over and the car changes direction?

Yeah, I don’t like that.

Once, when researching acceptance speeches, I came across Oprah Winfrey accepting an Emmy in 1998, and she said that, ever since she was a young girl she would pray this prayer:

“God, use me.”

I was like, ARE YOU SERIOUS? Don’t you want to have some SAY IN THIS? Don’t you want to decide what you want from your own life?

HOW CAN YOU GIVE UP THE WHEEL SO EASILY, WOMAN? WHAT IF YOU CRASH???

OK, everyone. Let’s calm down here. Is it just me, or are you getting a little anxious?

And yet, Oprah has had some success.

And then, I read Michael Singer’s “Surrender Experiment,” where he also gave up the wheel, and he had a little success.

Ok, fine. These people are killing it. And my friend who suggested that I give up the wheel, he is one of the happiest people I have ever met. He’s killing it.

They are all willing to let go.

So, I’ve made a decision. I think I’m going to let go of the wheel for a while.

This Spring.

I’m giving it a season.

I’m taking it day by day.

You can laugh. I know I am ridiculous. I’m planning to get outside a lot and do a lot of yoga and radically chill out. I don’t care if anything happens this Spring. Universe, take the wheel. I give up.

Beautiful reader: Do you give up the wheel? Are you already there? How does it feel? Free?

Want to find out? Ready, set…

Let go.