I Can’t Believe I Have to Do This

Next week is Spring Break. This week the university vibe is antsy, frantic, and itchy-scratchy. Students skip classes. Professors (myself included!) let classes out a little early, because… well… mentally, we’re all already gone.

Spring Breakitis. Spring Break Fever. Spring I’ll Break You in Half if I Have to Take Another Test.

This week, my boss also asked me to finish a big report. It was due today. The Thursday before break. It was for a good reason, but I was not expecting it, and I’ve been sick for weeks and behind in my classes. So yesterday, I was like #thestruggleisreal. Playing the “Spa Music” station on Spotify. Sad faced tromping back and forth to the printer.

Amidst my spa music, I wondered, “Georgi, what are you thinking that is making you so frustrated?” The answer appeared:

• I can’t believe I have to do this. When I get home, I deserve a big glass of wine.

It was like I struck gold.

AHA! A-HA! THERE IT IS. THERE IT IS. THERE’S THE THOUGHT.

• I can’t believe I have to do this.

There’s the thought that leads me to the wine. The chocolate. The Doritos.

A simple little sentence for such a great big glaring lie: I can’t believe I have to do this.

You can’t believe you have to do this? You mean this report that will benefit you? You mean this report for your boss, who you admire and respect? Really?

No, G. Back it up.

Guess what: You chose to do this. You said you’d do it. You get to do it. In fact, you’re doing it right now. You’re getting it done. It’s going to help you.

Why do you deserve wine for doing your job?

My monkey mind would not give up. I thought: Because I wasn’t planning this! It was unexpected! I didn’t have it on my calendar!!!

Hold on, G. I freaking love you, girl, but here’s that lesson you have a hard time with: You can’t control everything about your job. You can’t control everything about your life. You can’t control everything about the people you love. And do you know where “I can’t believe I have to do this” is heading? To the Merlot. To the Cadbury Mini-Eggs. To the skipped workout in the morning.

The truth is, there’s always going to be something unexpected in our jobs. We choose how to react. There’s always going to be something unexpected in our lives. We choose how to respond. There’s always going to be something unexpected happening with the people we love. We choose how we’re going to treat them.

Me? I chose to finish the report. I chose to let my students out early today (stop being so judgey! It was only, like, 15 minutes LOL). I chose to come home and walk my dog.

This weekend, I will choose to have a glass of Merlot to celebrate my finished report. I will choose to eat Cadbury Mini-Eggs on Spring Break. But, I don’t deserve those things when something unplanned happens.

Life is wild and beautiful and – believe it! – you get to choose how to deal with it.

So, gorgeous reader! Next week, I hope that you choose to take a little break because it’s Spring! You deserve a break. You’ve been doing the best you can every day. Please take a nap, wake up smiling, and choose the kind of joy that doesn’t corrode your health or give you a hangover.

AHA! A-HA. THERE IT IS. THERE IT IS. THERE’S THE THOUGHT.